“Nothing Says Monday Like Cat Barf in the Hallway.”

(Okay…it’s midnight, and I’ve decided to go back to this blog and stick in a little preface at the beginning!  All day I’ve been getting messages and e-mails of reassurance and encouragement!  And believe me, they are appreciated!  But, it began to occur to me that perhaps my blog today was construed as whiny…at least at the beginning of it, and then so long-winded thereafter, that most readers didn’t make it to the fun stuff at the end!  Otherwise, all would know that my day may have started out roughly…but was swiped up into merriment later on!  Therefore, if this blog is too long for you to trudge through…feel free to skip to the end and just enter the contest, okay?  Ha ha ha!  And I promise I’ll do a shorter, less serious blog next week!)

I’m not gonna lie to you…I’m at a difficult, stressful, worrisome, stressful, not-to-fun, stressful, out-of-shape, stressful, sometimes-wonder-if-I-can-carry-on, stressful time of life. I’m sure you probably know (or will know) what I mean. And for some reason, this past week was extra, extra bad! It could have something to do with the fact that my poor, wonderful, valiant mother is losing every memory she ever had (and not slowly). It could have something to do with the fact that my oldest son who is in Law Enforcement, is chasing bad-guy-drug-runners at 125 mph and finding meth pieces the size of bananas when he arrests somebody else. It could be that my youngest son who is also in Law Enforcement, is in the Defensive Tactics phase of his training and has to get tazed, pepper sprayed and fight off and detain a 260 lb. opponent before he can head for the hose and the Dawn dish soap to wash the pepper spray out of his eyes! It might have something to do with the fact that I want to spend more time helping my daughter get her extra bedroom/storage room all cleaned up and organized so SHE’LL have a little less stress hanging over her head! It could be that Kevin had the flu last week and he NEVER gets sick, so it always makes me feel insecure and freaked out when he is! It could be that the book business is a nightmare…it could be that the election stuff is freaking me out because I can’t believe how this country has been brought to its knees in the last 7 years! It could be because my dad is 83 years old, living out in the middle of nowhere and trying to look after my mom as she’s failing, all by himself. It could be because I’m overweight, out-of-shape and not taking care of myself. It could be because my beloved cat of 19 years had to be “put to sleep” a couple of weeks ago and first thing every morning, I still think, “I better get Jed his butter snack.” It could be because I never have time to nurture my relationships with family and close friends the way I want and need to. It could be that I’m a Type 2 diabetic and ate ¾ of a cake all by myself this weekend! It could be a combination of all these things AND a hundred more things that keeps me feeling sluggish, weighed down, and defeated.

Right now you’re probably thinking, “Wow, Marcia! What a downer! What ever happened to your goal to be a sugar sifter rather than a manure spreader?”

But, fear not! I’m still a sugar sifter! However, I did want to take some time to thank all the other sugar sifters out there…even though you might not know you’re a sugar sifter! Even if you didn’t intend to be a sugar sifter!

Let me begin this way: I used to be a lark (morning person).  The nutty kind that hops out of bed at 5:00 a.m. and hits the ground running! I loved that about myself! (And that’s saying a lot…but cause I’m pretty critical and disappointed of, and in, myself most of the time.) At heart, I still am a lark. But these past few years, so much stress and pressure has been weighing on me, that I’ve turned into one of those middle-aged woman that, first of all, can’t get to sleep. It literally was taking me 3 hours to fall asleep there for a while! And since I can’t get to sleep by 10:00 p.m. or so, I’m not waking up until 7:00 a.m. or 8:00 a.m….and even then I have time getting out of bed. My motivation is pretty absent most days.

Keeping that in mind, and the fact that weekends stress me out worse than weekdays, I’ve gotten into a pretty bad habit of lying in bed and scrolling through Facebook. In truth, that pretty much hurts me even more because there are so many sad things, mean things, etc. on Facebook these days. I know you know what I mean.

Well, anyway, this morning as I was lying in bed attempting to find the umph to get up and get in the shower…as I was pouting about the fact we’re now on Day Light Savings time (which is GREAT for night owls, but does a heck of a job on us larks), I found I was sinking into the depths of discouragement and a lack of motivation to do anything! I mean, I finished off the cake last night! So what’s to look forward to today, right?

And then, it happened!!!!! I read a post on my Facebook Newsfeed…and it cracked me up out loud!!!! Now, understand that the post wasn’t meant to be funny. At least I don’t think it was. It was a post about something I have experienced a few times (being that I did have a cat that lived to be 19 years old), and that I also know is NOT a good thing to wake up to. But, even though I know it’s a gross thing to wake up to, the post just struck me as so perfectly perfect for a Monday morning…so perfectly something I had experienced myself…so perfectly something I know can take the wind out of your sails in an instant, that I just literally laughed out loud!

My friend Lisa Mangum’s uncomplicated, effective, and “made my day” post was simply this:

“Nothing says Welcome to Monday like cat barf in the hallway.”

Ah ha ha ha! I soooooooooooo know what that is like! I sooooooooooo LOVE the simplicity of the statement! I sooooooooooooooo know it’s gross and wasn’t a good way to start your Monday, Lisa…but you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo made my morning! You put a smile on my face when I was having a really, really difficult time smiling! You warmed my heart and perked me up and made me feel like hopping out of bed and getting something done!

And, fortunately for me, Lisa wasn’t the only Angel of Mercy in my life this morning!

As I was still grinning over Lisa’s post, I decided to read one more post on my Newsfeed before hopping up to face the day. In the past, this is, 99.9% the time, a mistake… meaning, if I read something that makes me happy on someone’s wall, sure enough it turns out to be a mistake…because it’s 99.9% of the time something angry or dressing that just deflates me all over again.

Still, because Lisa’s post had made me feel so much better, I took a risk and read one more! And it was ANOTHER post the squashed the statistic and proved to be sooooo soooo soooo ME, and sooo sooo sooo funny, and sooo sooo sooo worth reading!

The very next post on my Newsfeed was on my friend, Marie Viator’s wall, and said this:

“Tomorrow I will watch Hoarders, get grossed out, realize my house isn’t that bad and clean.”

Epic! Totally epic! I LOVED Marie’s post, as well, and felt further revitalized!

You must know that I love to watch the show, Hoarders…because the people that are featured on that show just really tug at my heartstrings. They’ve always endured some sort of horrible loss that leads them to hoarding, and I find it fascinating how the heart can literally be so broken it results in that particular compulsion.

But what you further need to know, is that I only watch Hoarders with my friend, Gina! Gina lives in an entirely different state, so we used to save up a bunch of episodes of Hoarders and have a marathon when we’d get together once a year! She’s my only friend that has the same intense interest and empathy for the people featured on the show to the same depth that I do. And even though we haven’t been able to have a Hoarders marathon for a couple of years, we did watch one together recently, via syncing our TVs and talking on our cells while watching. It was awesome and actually helped me feel like Gina was right there with me as we empathized and agonized over the episode.

And so, this is my point: No matter how low I feel, no matter how depressing and angry Facebook gets, no matter how much I think the day is going to be something I have to trudge through…there is always something either beautiful or perfectly funny that pops in to pull me up…and it’s always gifted by the sugar sifters that still roam the earth…often unknowingly sifting their sugar!

Furthermore, sifting sugar should be something that is, not only paid forward, but returned! Thus, I’m offering this small token of my appreciation to both Lisa Mangum and Marie Viator (and to anyone else who needs a little lift today): This is a link to video that I had made years and years ago in hopes of offering a little moment of levity to my friend, Sheri. I had completely forgotten that it existed, because it was only ever meant for Sheri to see. But one year, while my angel of a daughter, Sandy, was going through our old family videos, she found this video of me that she’d never seen. It cracked her up the first time she found it, and it continues to crack her up every time she watches it. It’s not really that funny, so don’t expect much. And when I did it, I didn’t realize there was more than one verse to the song, so when the other verses began, I didn’t know the words. Thus, it remains the worst lip sync I’ve ever performed. But for some reason, it makes my kids smile. In knowing that it may, or may not, make you smile, at least I’m trying to sift sugar today, right?

Now, whether or not my dorkiness of December 17th, 2001 amused you or not, it’s time for this week’s Blog Contest AND the announcement of last week’s Blog Contest Winner!

pepe le pewFirst, last week’s winner (winner of all the Pepe le Pew/Skunk stuff) is Melody/Fox Girl (who loves foxes and Disney’s Robin Hood/Fox)!  I e-mailed you, Meloday…but please e-mail your shipping address…at marcialmcclure@cs.com, and I’ll get your prizes in the mail to you!  I even added a little something extra!

And for this week’s contest…well, Lisa Mangum and Marie Viator have already won boxes of Godiva Chocolates simply for pulling me out of my funk this morning!  So girls, send me YOUR shipping addresses at marcialmcclure@cs.com and I’ll get those in the mail by the end of this week!

Godiva1Meanwhile, this week’s contest is for a box of Godiva Chocolates like the ones Lisa and Marie will recieve!  Nothing helps a girl make it through Monday (especially when cat barf and new episodes of Hoarders are involved) like chocolate, right?!?!  So leave a comment here, on my Facebook page, Goodreads, or e-mail me at marcialmcclure@cs.com and you’ll have your name put in my hat for the chance to win this box of Godiva Chocolates, okay?  Your comment can be anything at all…but I would especially love if you included something random and simple that makes/made YOU feel better at some point in your life, okay?

Now, go forth and conquer Monday, my lovie dovies!

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25 Responses to “Nothing Says Monday Like Cat Barf in the Hallway.”

  1. Tiffany Deza says:

    Your books are my go-to when I need to find a little joy. I’m sure you’ll never understand how loved you and your books are by women you will never know. Keep it up. We love you.

  2. Marilee Bird says:

    Sometimes my worst times are when I am feeling particularly low about they kind of mom and wife that I am. (Yes, I know I am hard on myself.) Well, the best kind of pick me up is when my little girl comes and hugs me randomly and says, “I love you, Mom! You are the BEST mom EVER!!” Works every time….my day is a lot brighter after that. 🙂

  3. Kimberly Murdock says:

    Your books are my me time! My 4 little girls keep me so busy!! What would be perfect is a bath with a Marcia book and a box of chocolates. 😉

  4. Anna Wears says:

    I’m so sorry you’ve had such a difficult time. Know that there are hundreds of us who love and support you. When I get in a funk, sunshine and fresh air always helps! A nice walk or drive in the country where I don’t have cell service 😉 I also tell corney jokes just to watch my husband try not to laugh.

    “So these two cannibals were eating a clown, and one says to the other, does this taste funny to you?” Xoxox

  5. Jen says:

    I saw a quote today that made me laugh on Facebook, “If you’re going through hell, keep going. But please stop screaming; it’s not good for Morale.” I laughed right out loud, I swear I’m going to put that up on my mirror! But to answer your question, when I need a lift I read your books!! I think I’ve read them all, multiple times! Keep your chin up, trudge through and take some me time, things always get better! ?

  6. Melody says:

    My nieces and nephews! They always manage to say or do something that makes me laugh. Other times it’s a smile or a snuggle. They love me even when I look like a dump truck, and to a girl who always likes to look her best, that means a lot. I always head to Leilani’s house when I am down for her boys always lift my mood!

    Okay, and let’s be honest here, Leilani always makes me some sort of chocolate and or pumpkin deliciousness! She spoils me rotten, and would be mortified if she knew I posted this! She’s the kindest person I know, and for a girl who gets stressed more often than I would ever like to admit, she keeps me feeling good about myself, when I otherwise feel like a failure at everything!
    She lets me vent and vent, then we eat and giggle over some delicious hero of yours and all is well in the world again.

  7. Kachina says:

    Chocolates! Yes please!!!

    P.S. I love that phrase, “sugar sifter instead of manure spreader!” I’ve heard a lot of these type of phrases, and love to use them myself, but I haven’t heard that one. I am officially adding it to my arsenal.

    P.P.S. Prayers are going out to you and your family. As a girl who is anxious and down on herself, a family member to military/law enforcement, and suffers from way to many health issues I understand the fear, anxiety, and ultimate lows that can be hit BUT also how great divine help can be to change it around (even just a little bit).
    Sending Love!!! <3

  8. Terri Hancock says:

    My daughter who recently returned home from an LDS Mission in Santa Rosa California was trying to make me feel better and told me a great story that I thought you would enjoy.

    So a farmer went outside one day and could not find his donkey. He looked all over for it and finally he heard it hee-hawing. It had fallen in his well. He was so upset and called his friends to help him get the donkey out of the well. His friends said they had no idea how to get the donkey out of the well so he might as well just bury it.

    So they all started to pile dirt into the well. The donkey kept hee-hawing and they kept putting dirt in the well to bury the donkey. Well the donkey stopped hee-hawing and when they looked into the well they saw the donkey almost to the top of the well! Each time someone threw dirt in the well the donkey shook it off then stepped up on top of the dirt and kept doing that til he finally got to the top of the well.

    We are all like that…We need to do our best to shake off what happens to us and step it up so we can make it through the tough times in our lives. And all rise on top.

    Thought you might enjoy that story. Have a great day!

    I love your books cause they ALWAYS make me laugh and make me feel better no matter what is going on in my life! You are the best. Hope things go better for you!

  9. Mallari England says:

    There is only 2 things that really help a crappy day for me and that’s going for a run or getting back in my bed and reading a good book and just forgetting about everything else for the day.

  10. Kathryn says:

    I appreciate all the non sugary stuff at the beginning of this post. Sometimes it’s really nice to hear that I’m not the only one who has struggles. I’m glad that you found a way to lighten your day! Your books have given me many happy days and I thank you for that!

  11. brooke says:

    Sunshine ALWAYS helps me with a crappy day. And reading a good book and baking something yummy.

  12. Connie Barnes says:

    Whenever I feel down in the dumps or overwhelmed with all the stuff that is going on, I take a walk. I look for the beauty that is all around me and begin to feel how blessed I truly am. It gives me the strength to push forward.

  13. Margaret Harring says:

    Eating chocolate and curling up to read one of your books always improves a
    Crappy day for me.

  14. Stacey Whipple says:

    Lately when I feel down I remember that in the pre-exsistance we jumped for joy when we heard God’s plan. I don’t know why this helps me because we really didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into. Maybe it’s the idea that all the struggles will be worth it when we earn a great reward.

  15. Melinda Larkin says:

    Sometimes life just stinks…and then it doesn’t! Your blog post reminds me of that and believe it or not, helps us to realize that we are not alone in the struggle. You help with your books. They are funny and hopeful…romantic goes without saying. Chocolate ain’t b a d either! ?

  16. Lise Holt says:

    This last weekend we told the girls we were going to Target and then Petco to look at the dogs. A couple of them decided to go with us. After we left Petco we headed for Home Depot to buy some manure for the garden. We didn’t tell the girls we were going to do this because we were picking it up in the SUV. When they asked where we were going we told them we had to pick up manure. One of them said “cow poop?” and I told them “meadow muffins.” The other one then asked “you mean we’re going to buy a bunch of bull crap?” The other one then replied “this is a bunch of BS”. Manure can be funny, even when you have to drive home in 30 degree weather with all of the windows rolled down because of the smell!

  17. Erika says:

    My 6 year old never fails to bring a smile to my face. Once when I was flat in my back sick, he brought light sabers to my bedside and challenged me to a duel. Love that kid! 🙂 I hope you are able to de-stress and your week gets easier!

  18. April Orchard says:

    I can be having the worst day and then I think about one of your books and I just giggle to myself and my day gets a little better! Life is hard and the world is scary, but I try to think about all the great things in life and I never watch the news, to depressing for me! It’s so easy to get bogged down but know that you are loved and thought of often, hang in there lady! So, my son is quite the kid and is always willing to help and always the first to give hugs and kisses when someone is down, love that about him, but he can also be the kid that drives me crazy! He was downstairs playing with his little sister who is 20 months old and all the sudden I hear her crying and I’m like what did Parker do know! So I go downstairs and he has put his sister in a doll stroller and was pushing her around and she was screaming and he says. Mom! I can’t get her out, she was fine going in but now she is stuck! I am laughing so hard I can’t even say anything to him and poor Hannah is staring at me screaming like get me out! Even though I was thinking really son she isn’t supposed to be in a doll stroller it totally made my day knowing he was playing and taking care of her, we’ll sort of….. Anyway hope you start feeling better and know that prayers are sent to you and your amazing family!

  19. Karen Foster says:

    Hey Marcia,
    It’s 2:41 AM, so it’s too late for me to read your whole blog, but I did watch your video and I LOVE it!!! It is so me…haha!!! And that makes me happy!!! 🙂
    P.S. My grandson Aaron said he wants to grow fish on a farm and feed them mushrooms and apples and that makes him happy…..hahaha!!!!
    Love you!
    Karen

  20. Bryn Briscoe says:

    My 4 year old son perfectly executed his newly learned trick “pull my finger.” Im really hoping he doesn’t try to show his teachers.

  21. Elizabeth says:

    Monday’s can be so rough. I am glad you are still a sugar sifter!

  22. Liz Booth says:

    I love spending time with my book club. We eat delicious food, talk about good books, and stay up way too late chatting about life. Spending time with these amazing women helps me feel better because I realize there are other people who have gone through the same hard things I have and I’m not alone. I always go home feeling energized and happy!

  23. Kate Sparks says:

    I spent most of my life working with the public… and boy, can I tell tales about the strange questions that they bring. And I can say with great certainty, you don’t want to watch laws being made … at least at the state level… Nor do you want to work in the county clerk’s office taking in child support payments….
    30 some years of knowing that ‘this to will pass’.

  24. Mary Preston says:

    I’ve been reading Dr. Seuss to my nephew. He has been enjoying the silly rhymes and I have been blown away by how meaningful these books are. You do forget.

  25. Jessie Clark says:

    Good books help me out. I was reading a time travel book (Clandestine by Nicole Van) this week where the character went back to 1814. When he needed a pseudonym he chose Lord Vader. It was cracking me up every time someone referred to him.

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